I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
