A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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