Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
