I'm jealous of your bromance
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the liver wants what the liver wants
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
