btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
