If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize