I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
