Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
