Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
