Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize