No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
