So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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