Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
