Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
