Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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