He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
