I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
