this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my liver is dry heaving
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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