me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just found puke in my bra..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
