Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I AM VODKA MAN
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
