Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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