you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
