Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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