Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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