Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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