He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize