I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
