I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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