We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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