You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
