Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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