I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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