she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
