She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
