Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
