sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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