i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
