This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
