Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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