Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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