at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
