I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
