I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
