Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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