THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You ate ashes out of my bong
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
