i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
