i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
