Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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