Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
