he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
even my farts smell like vagina
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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