Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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