what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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