omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize