i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
